Thursday, November 29, 2007

Time to SIN

Time to take a breather from the
mall methane explosions (?),
congressional bombings,
overlapping typhoons,
Tuesday earthquakes,
tanks in hotel lobbies,
handcuffed reporters,
& knee-jerk curfews.

Time to take a breather from our
ruthless president,
pardoned plunderer,
undeclared martial law,
disorganized opposition,
& too-quiet middle class.

Time to take a breather and
get jiggy on ice-cold Tiger Beer,
take a picture with the Merlion,
have a Sling at the Raffles Hotel,
wolf down Hainanese Chicken Rice,
& try not to sin too much in


Gov’t declares CURFEW
in Metro Manila,
nearby provinces

By Lira Dalangin-Fernandez
Last updated 07:10pm (Mla time)

MANILA, Philippines --
Interior Secretary Ronaldo Puno
said that curfew will start 12 a.m. and end 5 a.m. Friday
in Metro Manila, Central Luzon and CALABARZON
(Cavite, Laguna, Batangas, Rizal, Quezon).

You're NOT Off the Hook, Madame!!!

You're now ordering the PNP to confiscate the videos
that the media shot during the Manila Pen fiasco?

The whole nation already heard what was said,
the whole nation already saw the potential for bloodshed
that you wholeheartedly encouraged and approved.

The messengers may have been imperfect,
but their message was perfectly understood.

You'd be better off confiscating the cameras
of the photographers who take your picture!

Guilty of Argumentum Ad Hominem, your honor!


The Manila Pen version
of a Mexican Standoff just ended,
with a whimper that was the quote above.

GMA threatened a bang of a bloody dispersal,
NOT just the kind of TV-friendly acoustic warfare
that drove a deafened Gringo Honasan out of Ayala during
the 1989 Makati CBD takeover.

Rather than risk the lives of the reporters
covering what essentially was a court walkout,

the Trillanes, Lim, and Guingona-sponsored
afternoon tea at a five-star hotel (again!)
came to an abrupt end when the Philippine Marines' tanks
literally crashed the party!

Quo Vadis,

Senator Trillanes?

Like Andres Bonifacio,
whose heroism we commemorate tomorrow,

I believe you should've gone ahead
and made the supreme sacrifice,
just like the Supremo did more than a century ago...

and let History be the Judge.

'"Why Can't I Quit CRIME?"

No truth to the rumor that Heath Ledger's
first line of dialouge as the JOKER
in the new BATMAN movie

paraphrases his lovelorn cowboy's
"Why can't I quit you?"
from Brokeback Mountain.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Kudos to my buddy,
netoPi@ COO Jito Grau

for taking a firm stand
against Pornography in internet cafes...

it's bad enough that everyone enjoys
too much porn at home and in the office


I was walking around Robinson's Place Manila,
from the Padre Faura entrance to the Pedro Gil exit,

when I made a right turn somewhere
and ended up in this humongous cathedral-like space:

Here's your first look at the massive mall expansion;
like a black hole, it absorbed all of the land
upon which the old Ramada Hotel used to stand.

This part of the mall has yet to be fully occupied,
which makes it all the more cavernous.

It's so spacious,
I almost wanted to BASE jump from the top floor
to the gleaming marble lobby below!


Kodakus Interruptus:

also known as withdrawal
or the pull out the camera method,

is a method of food intake control in which,
before every course,

the camera is removed from the case prior to mastication,
primarily to ensure capturing the food presentation
to take photographs for blog illustration.

This method has been widely used for at least 2 years
and was used by an estimated 3.8 million bloggers worldwide in 2007.

The primary cause of failure of the withdrawal method
is the lack of self-control of those using it.

Poor timing of the withdrawal can result in
dagger looks from hungry dining companions,
which can easily migrate into the serving staff as well.

Some internet professionals view withdrawal
as an ineffective method of preventing blog overdose.

In contrast,
a recent study in Iran found that provinces
with higher rates of withdrawal use
do not have higher fertility rates,
and that the contribution of withdrawal use
to unintended pregnancies is not markedly different
from that of other commonly used methods
such as the pill or condom.

(just wanted to check if you'd read it to the very end!)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Ang Tatay Mong KALBO!!!

It's amazing to think now that
Pugo used to be THE ONLY skinhead
in Pinoy Cinema and TV.

And there are no more "Bondying"
characters to be found;
Bentot's heirs are now all "Bading".

I miss the old-school comedians;
although their physical imperfections
were the basis for their popularity,
it wasn't at all nasty.

There was always an underlying sweetness
and a strong sense of family in their humor.

These days,
so-called Pinoy Comedy is all about
Willie Revillame's lewdness
and Joey de Leon's crassness.

In other words, total crapfests.

Let's bring back those comedians
who didn't need a last name to make
a lasting impression.

To Pugo, Bentot, Chichay, Palito,
Babalu, Panchito, and yes, Dolphy,
thanks for all the laughs in Black & White!


Jules: I'll just walk the earth.

Vincent: What'cha mean walk the earth?

Jules: You know, walk the earth, meet people...
get into adventures. Like Caine from "Kung Fu."

One of the best places in The Philippines
to just, well,
"Walk the Earth"...

dozens of newsstands
stuffed with back issues of your favorite magazines,
brimming with pre-loved books,
and yes, brand new dibidis!

Robust old buildings,
not unlike San Francisco's art deco structures;
true survivors,
outlasting earthquakes and changing tastes.

And every so often,
steps cut in stone,
leading up to hidden surprises
and unexpected revelations.

Ukay-Ukay everywhere,
quaint cafes on every corner
and on every level,

fine samples of Baguio's
bangles and beads,
traditional tribal art,
just waiting to be discovered!

STAR CAFE : The Home of Baguio's Old-Fashioned Comfort Food

Welcome to STAR CAFE,
where real Baguio folk get their coffee,
Chinese food, and raisin bread!!!

With SM Baguio dominating the city landscape,
most visitors now overlook this institution,
a local favorite since 1940.

One of my great pleasures whenever I'm up there
is to walk down and up Session Road,
and I'm always surprised to find new restaurants
to enjoy every single time.

Conversely, old favorites disappear too,
Cafe Amapola and the original Mario's, to name two;
but I'm glad that Star Cafe seems immune
to foodie trends and short-attention appetites.

This past weekend,
as Typhoon Mina's rains started to lash the city,
I found a warm sanctuary once again in this cafe'.

It's the perfect place to read a thick Sunday paper
while enjoying a hefty Lechon Kawali Rice Topping dish,
with the crispy pork embraced by a chop suey
of the highland's freshest vegetables,
and steaming hot snow-white rice.

Nothing's better on a cold, rainy day!

39 Session Road
(directly across McDo)

GOD tries to shake GMA off Malacanang....


4.2 quake hits Pangasinan,
parts of Manila

A magnitude 4.2 earthquake
rattled an undersea area off Pangasinan
Tuesday afternoon
but caused no reported injuries
or damage to property.

A radio dzMM report said
Malacañang employees evacuated
the second and third floors of the palace
after the quake struck.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Philippines is Going to the DOGS!!!

The Best Philippine Theater Experience
you'll have this year.

Watch It!!!

In perfect sync with very recent events.
(see post immediately below)

If you're as heated up about those
Presidential Pardons as I am,
this play ought to be the perfect balm
to ease your pain,

as it will remind you
that outside our nincompoop government,
there are still some Pinoys worth living and dying for,
and there are Pinoys who are willing to fight the good fight.

Our country deserves better
than the insensitive ingrates who will be in power 'til 2010.

DOGEATERS should open some eyes,
force many deafened ears to listen,
and make some mouths start talking.

The power of prose and poetry
cannot be underestimated.

It's depressing to think that a quarter of century has passed
since the semi-fictitious events depicted in the play;

and while you'll be entertained
by the funhouse mirror reflections of
Ninoy Aquino, Maita Gomez, Gen. Fabian Ver,
(and for DVD fans) German director Rainer Fassbinder,
Danding Cojuangco, Joseph Estrada, and
Imelda Marcos (who's really a funhouse all by herself).

You will also be shocked back to reality by
the urgency of the social and political concerns,
the strong sense of distrust of government,
the hubris of the personages in positions of power,
the desperation and seeming hopelessness of the masses,

so perfectly drawn out
by novelist/playwright Jessica Hagedorn
that remain as true now, in 2007, as they did in 1982.

The cast is stellar;
when you have Joel Torre and Michael de Mesa
performing multiple roles,
you're in very safe theatrical hands.

Rez Cortez,
in danger of being caricatured as an FPJ loyalist,
is a revelation in Dogeaters.

His roles as an abusive military officer,
a Quasimodo-like houseboy,
and an Intercon Hotel Jeepney Coffeshop waiter (!),
are spot on. Consider me a fan, sir.

Jon Santos,
essaying the role of the owner
and star performer of a Coco Banana-type disco,
provides some comic relief and hot Donna Summer moves
to lighten the tension.

But unexpectedly,
he also provides the underlying pathos
by having to make the life-or-death decisions
so common during the lethal days of Martial Law.

I was surprised that he didn't play Imelda;
but the actor who did was terrific, Imeldific to the max:
from the height and matronly heft,
the strange speech cadences,
and yes, that hint of feminine menace
that made the First Lady the Iron Butterfly.

Gina Alajar's final scene alone
is worth the price of admission.
Sister Stella L. combined with Sissy Spacek's Carrie
is one unforgettable combination.

There's a Greek Chorus, by the way,
but not what you'd expect in the classical sense.

To reveal more would ruin the surprise,
but somehow, one of the members of "the chorus"
reminded me of an omnipresent TV mainstay of my childhood,
the great host & emcee, Eddie Mercado.

The rest of the cast is excellent as well.
Teresa Herrera, UNO cover girl,
ought to be commended for her courage
in casting her lot with this group of accomplished actors.
Her supermodel looks may have distracted me somewhat,
but she surely shows potential for more stagework.

I'm in Baguio as I write this,
and I forgot to bring my Dogeaters "Playbill",
but I'd love to give a shoutout to these characters,
and the actors who played them:

the tragic Batangueno Romeo and his chubby Juliet;
Joey, the bastard GI baby/callboy/DJ;
and the sweet, sad Beauty Queen/Torture Victim/Communist Rebel.

to you all!!! Pinaiyak niyo ako ",)

for the 1980s time-warp authentic
Stage and Production design.

One of the most beautiful I've seen
since Miss Saigon a decade ago at the CCP.
It's stark yet filled with period detail.

I can almost imagine what Ninoy's solitary confinement
cell in Laur, Nueva Ecija must have looked like...

(lose the Absolut Mandrin bottle though,
and replace it with Smirnoff Vodka;
this vodkalcoholic noticed that anachronism)

The lighting design, almost cinematic in quality,
from the daylight bright golf course to the
flickering screen inside the Odeon movie theater,
the mood lighting of the kinky bedroom sequences,
and the seamless transitions between scenes,
it was all subtle, but perfectly pleasing to the eye.

And now, a confession:
I retired from my so-called career in theater
two decades ago, after I played the lead role
of Danny Zuko in a UST production of GREASE.

It was directed by Bernardo Bernardo,
and staged at the Metropolitan Theater.

After singing "Summer Nights" at the historic Met,
and having a backstage romance with my "Sandy",
I couldn't think of any other role that I desired,
as I'd already accomplished my dream of stage glory.

My first reaction after watching Dogeaters,
however, was this:

I'd love to act again.

The play was so good, I'd love to perform in something similar;
Dogeaters just may forced me out of my J.D. Salinger retirement.

Watch it, please....

before I ruin Philippine Theater with my hammy acting.


The star-studded staging of Jessica Hagedorn’s
critically acclaimed play DOGEATERS
runs from November 16 – December 2, 2007
at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium,
RCBC Plaza, Makati.

Filled with rich characters
from every level of the social ladder
in the tropical city of Manila in 1982,

Jessica Hagedorn’s Dogeaters
(based on her New York Times Best Selling novel)

follows in particular the fates of
Rio, a young, movie-obsessed girl
from an upper-middle-class family,

and Joey, a poor, young Afro-Filipino hustler.

Their coming of age stories are intertwined
with the tales of generals, waiters,
a soft-porn "bomba" star, the richest man in Manila,
journalists, politicians, a revolutionary fugitive,
a middle-aged drag queen,

and even the First Lady of the Philippines.

Featured in the cast are
highly acclaimed actors from the stage and screen
including Joel Torre
(recreating the roles he played in the New York Production),

Gina Alajar, Michael de Mesa, Rez Cortez,
Leo Rialp. Jon Santos, Andoy Ranay, Chari Arespacochaga,
Ana Abad Santos, Jerald Napoles, Nicco Manalo, Cheryl Ramos,
Jenny Jamora, Lao Rodriguez, Richard Cunanan
and (schwinnngggg!!!!) Teresa Paredes Herrera.

DOGEATERS is directed by Bobby Garcia,
Production Design by Kalila Aguilos,
Lighting Design by Jay Aranda
and Original Music Scoring by ManMan Angsico.

Because of Explicit Content,
Parental Discretion is advised.

For tickets call Atlantis Productions
at 892-7078, 840-1187 or TicketWorld at 891-9999.

PARDON My French, But You're An Assh*le!!!

(that's my favorite line from the movie

That cinematic line is exactly
what I'd like to say to that %*&@!!
who issued the pardon to one of the AVSECOM soldiers
convicted for the Ninoy Aquino assassination:

This latest f*ck-up by GMA,
after her EraPardon,
rankles me no end.

I'm furious that one after the other,
the Public Attorney's Office will be
facilitating the papers for the release
of the remaining surviving killers.

The meek excuse they give is that these
cold-blooded assassins have spent enough
time in prison, and since they are in
"poor health" as they reach their 70th birthdays,
they deserve the abhorrent GMA pardon.

It's worth noting that, to this day,
almost a quarter of a century after August 21, 1983,
the mastermind remains unknown.

NOT A SINGLE ONE of these soldiers
has admitted complicity in the killing;

NOT A SINGLE ONE has apologized;

NOT A SINGLE ONE has had the guts
to reveal who actually gave the orders
to shoot Ninoy in the back of the head.

as far as these blind followers are concerned,
GALMAN acted alone and pulled the trigger....

... and speaking of quick trigger fingers,

here's another execrable quote from
that guy with the new kidney,
but should've gotten a new brain,
Injustice Secretary Raul Gonzales:

"Keeping them in prison will be
a violation of their human rights;
these people have lost the best years of their lives!"


So, who's next on your "TO FREE" list,
you gaddem tenderhearted fools?

Mayor Antonio Sanchez,
rapist/killer of UPLB coed Aileen Sarmenta
and her schoolmate, Allan Gomez?

Claudio Teehankee,
who murdered teenager Maureen Hultman?

Oh, I understand now.
The Administration finds nothing wrong with
plunder and murder....

... and why not?

They are already raping The Philippines anyway.

Friday, November 23, 2007


The best restaurant to have
an excellent Thanksgiving Turkey dinner
while mapping out the
Ultimate Pampanga Food Trip!

My Cabalens are notorious for switching our Fs and Ps,
and dropping our Hs;

for instance,
may be sung as:

But what the eck,
we're Capampangans,
and damn froud of it!!!

Meet the horganizers of the
POOD TRIF on Saturday, December 15:

From L to R:
Anton of Our Awesome Planet,
Spanx of Manila Boy,
Ivan of Ivan About Town, &
Ivan of Old Manila Walks!

It was imperative that we had a great dinner
while planning the greatest Pampanga culinary tour ever,

our Turkey Dinner "with the works",
dark and white meat, stuffing with chestnuts,
rich gravy, cranberry jelly, a siding of sweet potato,
and all the buttered raisin bread we could eat:

and since my Tita Mila runs Hizon's,
she generously gave us complimentary desserts,
slices of Hizon's tart-iffic Lemon Pie:

Some of the reasons why DOLPHY loves this place so much,
he got my aunt as one of the ninangs on Vandolph's wedding:

1197 J. Bocobo St.,
Ermita, City of Manila

> to get there:
from U.N. Avenue,
coming from Roxas Blvd. towards Taft Ave.,
turn right on J. Bocobo

for more Hizon's comfort food choices,
check out Liv & Ruy's A TASTE OF (married) LIFE

don't forget to try their Raisin Bread & Ensaymadas!

Gloria In Excelsis ERAP

from the Philippine Daily Inquirer,
a very odd Nativity Scene in Cebu:


1. "If these two jokers were My parents,
I'd have converted to Islam."

2. "Should we name our baby Chavit?"

3. "HOLY SH*T!"

4. "XXX'mas"


Thursday, November 22, 2007

HAil HAil HAil!!!

This post is dedicated to my great friends
and beloved relatives from Gang Green:

Gep Pascual, Patrick Pacla, Pepelou Avecilla,
Franklin Alido, Mac Mandap, Do Hizon, Georgia Limjoco,
and most of all,
Anton Diaz!!!!

Quite a big deal was made of the UK's
2006 THES (Times Higher Education Supplement)
World University Rankings
by our friends from Taft Avenue;

During the UAAP playoff games between
the Archers and the Eagles,
gigantic banners with these numbers were unfurled:


Well, the 2007 THES rankings have been released,
and only two Philippine universities made it to the
TOP 500:


Ateneo went up the list
and De La Salle apparently dropped off
the Top 500 altogether,
because this year,

the "Peer Review" criteria,
a.k.a. voting for yourself,
was dropped; it used to be 40% of the total score.

FYI lang po.


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

More Than WORDS...

EXTREME-ly lazy.

Still lethargic
from all the scotch and beer and lechon and oysters
from my three birthday parties, classic!

Text to accompany the posts below to follow,
hopefully, on the morrow.


The most iconic SciFi movie moneyshot
since The Planet of the Apes' magnificent ending.

Codenamed "CLOVERFIELD",

this new movie of J.J. Abrams,
the genius behind ALIAS and LOST,
is putting internet fanboys in a frenzy of anticipation:

What exactly is attacking New York?
Ginormous Turtles?!?!?!?

The HiDef trailer looks super cool;
sort of like an HD SciFi Cinema Verite'
handheld documentary camera movement
a la The Blair Witch Project.

Get blown away here!!!

Another BLOODY LECHON Celebration!!!

My faculty and operations officers
demanded PORK.

the must have sensed that my birthday theme
this year revolved around roasted pigs.

I searched far and wide in the wilds
of Quezon Avenue for the requested treat;

and in a part of MetroManila more renowned
for the cheesecake of these famous bakeries:
Pegasus, Heartbeat, and Classmate (!)

I was challenged to find the LECHON
for this ravenous assembly of nurses...

I didn't have to travel to far off La Loma.

I found a JULIET'S LECHON outlet
at the Crossings Supermarket
near the Maalikaya Barbershop,

and chanced upon a beautiful specimen
with that mouthwatering red-orange skin tone,
the perfect kind that's got just the right bite,
crispy, crunchy, substantial, and not too fatty.

And since "Babe" had just been delivered,
I got first dibs on the parts I wanted:

that flavorful part right smack
in the middle of the torso,
with the ribs and tenderloin....


the dinuguan was served to maximize
our collective cholesterol guilt,
and it was bloody good as well.

for dessert, we had Lipitor!!!

KK @ TriNoMa!!!

Krispy Kreme is now open at the Garden Level,
and even better...

Hershey's Donuts are bacKK!!

Hershey’s Special Dark
> Chocolate, creamy vanilla iced doughnut,
topped with Hershey’s premium, bittersweet dark chocolate

Hershey’s Cookies & Kreme
> rich chocolate iced doughnut
topped with creamy Hershey’s white chocolate and cookies.

Trinoma's gotten even greener,

and is now all dressed up for the Christmas Season!

Sunday, November 18, 2007


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