The State of the Nation : WHY SO SERIOUS?

Thanks to Pepe Diokno's "Pepe Don't Preach"
Philippine Star column for the gorgeous photo!

I managed to watch the latter half of President Arroyo's
annual address to her congressional dog pound,
the SONAvabitch, and here are my thoughts:

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of irrelevant factoids
and mountains of incomprehensible lines to defend her VAT,
(no mention whatsoever of how the VAT collections would be distributed)

cringed at the shameless effort to parade "everyday people"
who supposedly are the beneficiaries of this administration,
(including a tribal chief freezing at the Batasan wearing only a G-string)

discombobulated by the sycophantic congressmen's applause
of every inane statement spouted by the "I Am Sorry" lady,
(a record-setting hundred plus clapping interruptions)

and

I just about hollered with glee when GMA announced that
text messages between rival telcos would be lowered
from P1.00 to P0.50!!!
(the only part of the SONA that Pinoys actually understood & appreciated)



At the end of her speech, I realized a couple of things:

1. Our President really is a
JOKER,

and

2. I'm really allergic to her face and voice;
my eyes started to itch and swell, and
this is how I looked like after she finished:

yup, just call me
TWO-FACE!!!

007 : Killing You Softly With His Songs

Every couple of years or so,
I celebrate my birthday with a
Martini, shaken not stirred.


This November, Bond's Back...
and killing him softly with her song
will be Alicia Keys!!!


The new License to Kill theme ought to be as great as my favorites:
Nobody Does It Better (from The Spy Who Loved Me)
For Your Eyes Only, Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever,
Live And Let Die, and yes, A View To A Kill!!!

from the BBC:

Alicia Keys and Jack White have recorded the theme tune
for the next James Bond film.

R&B singer Keys has teamed up with
the star of rock band White Stripes for
"Another Way to Die",
the first duet in 007 theme history.

The new partnership sees the slick and soulful Keys
team up with raw and bluesy rocker White.

Despite their different musical backgrounds,
both are leading figures in the US scene,
with 18 Grammy Awards between them.

Previous iconic James Bond signature tunes
have been recorded by stars including Shirley Bassey,
Duran Duran, Madonna, and Sir Paul McCartney.



Quantum of Solace,
the 22nd official film in the 007 series,
picks up from Casino Royale as the secret agent
sets out to avenge the apparent death of his lover.

The title is taken from a short story
published by Bond creator Ian Fleming in 1960.

"Always Be My City..." : DAVID COOK Live in MANILA on January 27, 2009!!!

Confirmation straight from the American Idol himself;

his first concert after the Idol 2008 U.S. tour ends
will be in the country where "Always Be My Baby"
instantly became #1 before it was even officially released.

I just hope GMA-7 won't be the sponsor for this event;
I'd hate to see those horrid characters from Pinoy Idol
crashing this concert...

or even worse,
Regine Velasquez angling to be David's guest
so that she can sing "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"
with the Talented Mr. Cook. Yikes!!!!

And Now, A Word From Our SPONSORS...

When I'm not blogging,
I actually do some work
for these two education networks:

the Universal Worker Review Centers
and the STI Colleges of Nursing;

and we had a very good weekend indeed...
our little project, our company,
had a very big night --
a very, very big night.

I feel just like Jerry Maguire did when
Rod Tidwell scored that touchdown!!!

Maayong Gabi-i sa inyong Tanan!!!



Aim High:
STI BS Nursing Pilot Batches
Ace the Nursing Board Exams!!!


STI Cebu :
100%

STI Lucena :
100%

STI Recto :
100%

STI Sta. Maria :
89%

STI Cubao :
82%

STI Baguio :
80%

STI Global City :
67%


Two Topnotchers:
#9 Stephanie Lopez from De Los Santos-STI
#10 Mariene Bravo from STI-Cebu


STI's overall national average is 84%,
almost doubling the PRC passing rate
from all the Colleges of Nursing:
the nationwide average is only 43%.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE BRAND NEW R.N.s!!!


woohoooo!!!!

Okay, gotta go,
my lechon dinner is getting sebo-istic.

Greetings from Cebu City!!!

pati ba naman PLURK, na-pirata na?

10:00am
Cebu Pacific still doesn't have a check-in counter for Davao,
and my flight leaves in 2hours.


10:15am
I was asked to check-in at the counter for Roxas-bound pax


10:20am
Sh*t. I hope my bags reach Davao.
The ground personnel sure looked dazed & confused.


10:22am
Hmmm. They moved the Fruit Magic shake store outside.


10:30am
Stupid Korean mashed my cigarette.
di na nga marunong mag-smuggle ng lighter,
*&$#@?!!! di pa marunong makisindi.


10:34am
Standing Room Only in the pre-departure area.
*&$#@?!!! don't they open Terminal 3 to all 5J flights?


10:50am
from the Philippine Star:
Loser Sen. Ralph Recto to head NEDA. *&$#@?!!!


11:20am
MP3 Random Play : I Could Not Ask For More by Edwin McCain
I had a GF from Davao in 1999, and this was OUR SONG


11:24am
maybe this is a sign we might just meet again after 9yrs?
can't be a coincidence that I'm flying to where we met


11:25am
na-se-senti


11:36am
na-gu-gutom na


11:37am
uyyyyy.... meron Eng Bee Tin Hopia Baboy!!!
(no pigs were harmed in the making of this hopia)


11:40am
nakakagutom pala pag nase-senti


11:50am
boarding!!! no delay. woohoooo


12:05pm
I saw at least 5 passengers lugging
boxes of Krispy Kreme for pasalubong!!!


12:06pm
flight attendant:
Sir, TURN OFF your *&$#@? phone!!!

(Obviously, I haven't figured out how to send Plurks from my cellphone,
but at least, I'm not a certified Twit!)

ANDREA BOCELLI's New Favorite Singer: CHARICE PEMPENGCO!!!

During his birthday concert this past Sunday
at the Il Teatro del Silenzio in Tuscany,
Andrea Bocelli sang his biggest hit,
"The Prayer", with a young Filipina.


And despite the gas crisis,
shipping tragedies in our seas, &
a lying president's forthcoming SONA,

after watching the video below,
I couldn't help but proudly shout
"MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!!!"

"In realtà il mondo è pieno di grandi voci
e ho avuto la fortuna di cantare con tanti artisti,
da Christina Aguilera a Bono.

Ma, se proprio dovessi trovare una nuova interprete,
punterei su Charice, una ragazza delle Filippine
che a soli 15 anni è una versa forza della natura.
Ne sentiremo parlare."

"In reality, the world is full of great voices
and I had the opportunity to sing with so many artists,
from Christina Aguilera to Bono.

But, if I would like to look for a new voice,
I would push for Charice, a girl from the Philippines
who at only 15 years old is a flush force of nature.
That we shall be hearing."

nakakaiyak, di ba?

TROPICAL HUT : still one of Manila's Best BURGERS!!!

The queue for the Tropical Hut restaurant
that used to be at the corner of Ortigas and EDSA,
circa February 1986:

During the Dark Ages,
before Jollibee, before McDonald's,
before Burger Machine, before Wendy's,
before Brothers, Hotshots, & Burger Avenue,

there was only one burger chain:
Tropical Hut


I guess the owners earned so much money
during the EDSA Revolution, they retired
and stopped their nationwide expansion.

Too bad,
because their absurdly tasty burgers
are still among the best in MetroManila,

perfectly spiced for the Pinoy's tastebuds,
(JB's "langhap sarap" recipe was based on the TH's)
their classic line-up has stood the test of time,

and although you have to make an extra effort
to find a Tropical Hut in the Metro,
burgers like the Rancho Ranchero truly make it worth your while!!!

more on Tropical Hut over at:
Kristine's Food Notebook

NIDO MILK, now with L-Glutathione!!!

Full Cream Milk that gives you a Creamy White Complexion?

Genius!

Like a photogenic colleague with a similar political trajectory,
(and a similar affinity for glutathione)

will Senator Ramon "Bong" Revilla Jr.
endorse this to jumpstart his campaign
for Vice President in 2010?!?!?

Okay, okay...
I hate to do this, but
I have to admit that this is a joke;

just like the L-Carnitine post immediately below,
which probably spiked Coke Zero sales and
almost ruined a lot of my friends' diets!!!

Sorry, ladies!!!

COKE ZERO, now with L-Carnitine!!!

Yesterday,
in the midst of a 6-hour feast of grilling & chilling
in one of the first, and still one of the best
Korean Restaurants in the Philippines,



"CHIGU"
all the way in Noveleta, Cavite (!!!)




the stagerring amounts of Sam Gyup Sal (a.k.a. Korean Bacon),
made me want to convince my beer-guzzling, vodka-shooting friends that...




Coke Zero,
if taken after a calorie-laden, high cholesterol meal,
would actually be the perfect digestif, as it "contains"



L-Carnitine,
the fat-burning amino acid that's propelling Del Monte's "Fit & Right",
URC's "Fab" fruit juices, and RFM's "VitWater" to corpulent sales!






And so, partly to lessen their oily dietary guilt
from all the succulent pork fat that they were imbibing,


I took advantage of my friends' booze-addled minds,
their drowsiness due to over-eating, and their usual
very high regard and trust in me (bwahahahaha!),


and started discoursing on the heretofore unknown benefits of
Coke Zero with L-Carnitine:

"L-Carnitine boosts energy by stimulating the body's burning
of tryglycerides as fuel,
sparing the supply of glycogen stored in the liver for heavier exertion.

During exercise, the body will burn fat at a rate of 75-80% of maximum exertion,
thus less glycogen from carbohydrates is burned.


L-carnitine allows the body to burn more fat, save more glycogen,
and ultimately boost stamina and endurance.

By providing more fat to the muscles,
carnitine makes accessible an otherwise unavailable energy SOURCE."



Too bad,
after all that mumbo-jumbo pseudo-science
that was coming from my forked tongue,

only one person believed me,
and this diet-conscious gentleman ended up
drinking almost 2 liters of Coke Zero:


Just as well,
because he was our designated driver back to Manila,

and all the hypothetical L-Carnitine he greedily drank
prevented him from attacking the San Miguel & Absolut,
thus guaranteeing us a a safe, if burp-y trip home!!!





Thanks again and Happy 31st Birthday,
HERB d PERV!!!!

YES!!! this could be JIM CARREY's funniest since Liar, Liar & Bruce Almighty

Remember when Jim Carrey strung up
this string of hits from '94 to '98?

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
The Mask, Dumb and Dumber,
Ace Ventura : When Nature Calls
The Cable Guy, Liar Liar,
and The Truman Show?


In the decade since,
with the notable exceptions of his holy humor in
Bruce Almighty
and the mindbending romance,
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind,

Jim's either played a Dr.Seuss character,
or tried too hard to be
"A. Serious. Actor."
(e.g. the unquestionably awful The Number 23)





Well, this coming Christmas Season,
it seems that Carrey's returning to his
peak form of supreme silliness!

"Meet Carl Allen,
a man who signs up for a self-help program
based on one simple principle:

say yes to everything...
and anything.


At first,
unleashing the power of "yes" transforms Carl's life
in amazing and unexpected ways,

but he soon discovers that opening up his life to
endless possibilities can have its drawbacks."

TERMINATOR SALVATION: The Waiting Begins...

Kudos to the marketing minds behind T4

for releasing this totally bad-ass
teaser picture of John Connor terminating
a Terminator with extreme prejudice,

the day after Christian Bale's TDK
exploded across movie screens worldwide!!!


> click on the photo below to biggify! <

www.ew.com

Remember those robots stomping human skulls in Terminator 2?

They're, uh, back.

This is the first Terminator to to be set in
Earth's not-so-pleasant future
(machines have declared war on humans)
and the first without Arnold Schwarzenegger
(although a Governator cameo isn't an impossibility).

This time, the heavy acting will be done by Christian Bale,
who plays grown-up world-saver John Connor.

''Our idea is to give the film the look of CHILDREN OF MEN
but with the velocity of TRANSFORMERS,'' says McG,
director of "Charlie's Angels" and producer of TV's "Chuck".

''We aspire to do to the Terminator exactly what
Christopher Nolan did with the Batman franchise.''

TERMINATOR SALVATION:
THE FUTURE BEGINS

on May 22, 2009!!!

IN DARKEST KNIGHT...

THE DARK KNIGHT
has transcended the genre of "Superhero Movies";
it's simply one of the greatest, darkest Crime Dramas ever.

As I sat transfixed last night,
rather than being reminded of Superman or Spider-Man,
I thought of...

Harvey "Two-Face" Dent,
descending into evil after losing the woman he loved,
just like Michael Corleone did in THE GODFATHER.

The Joker; as violent and as insanely cunning as Al Capone
in THE UNTOUCHABLES; and the Batman, Elliot Ness
with a cape, a cowl, and a scowl in Gotham/Chicago.

And as in INFERNAL AFFAIRS/THE DEPARTED,
The Dark Knight, with the three characters above,
passionately explored the themes of duality,
and the razor's edge of the thin line
between good and evil.

I'm still in awe about what I experienced,
not just watched, at the IMAX theater:


1. the fans, excitedly chattering while waiting
for the movie to start, but simultaneously falling
into an expectant, almost reverential hush as the
opening credits of DC Comics started to roll;


2. the sheer amazement we all felt when the screen
suddenly bloomed into its full 6-storey IMAX glory
during the HEAT-like opening bank robbery sequence;


3. the unexpected humor in the dense, intelligent
screenplay; my favorites were the ones about sonar
and, of course, the "Joker Maguire" line;


4. the exquisite interplay among Christian Bale,
Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman,
and (no one's missing katie, tom!) Maggie Gyllenhaal;
each inhabiting their characters completely,
performing their parts perfectly in this sinister sonata;


5. and most of all, Heath.

We all discovered him in the playful A Knight's Tale,
we were convinced of his serious talent in Brokeback Mountain
(where he co-starred with another talented Gyllenhaal),

and in this much Darker tale of a present-day Knight,
the late, great Mr. Ledger leaves us a legacy for the ages.

Let's hear it for
HEATH LEGEND!!!

For Those Who Don't Know How To SWALLOW!!!

Having a hard time getting that grainy Vit.C tablet down your throat?
Finding difficulty in swallowing that gigantic MultiVitamin capsule?

Well, you can rest easy now,
and abandon all resistance,

knowing that you can get all the benefits
of your essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients,

without the inadvertent choking hazards,
and with the added benefit of oral taste sensations

from these newfangled flavored/enhanced waters,
which are all the rage in the U.S., Europe, and Japan,
now Made in the Philippines by RFM:

VITWATER!!!


They come in 4 colorful variants:

1. PROTECT : water + immunity
> with Vitamins A, C, & E + Selenium + Zinc
> orange flavor

2. TRIM : water + fat burning
> with L-carnitine
> kiwi-strawberry flavor

3. ENDURE : water + endurance
> with Ribose
> fruit punch flavor

4. OUT OF STOCK : water + whatever
> with something special
> unknown flavor


For now, these healthy H20s
are exclusively available at 7-11.

No surprise there,
since URC launches their new products (C2, etc.)
through their subsidiary MINI-STOPs,

7-11 seems to have struck a similar deal with RFM.
The problem is, there seem to be a lot more
branches of Mini-Stops now than 7-11s.

And although most goods in 7-11 are ridiculously overpriced,
the P15.00 per 380ml bottle of VitWater
seems reasonable enough,

knowing that when these are eventually sold in supermarkets,
the price ought to drop down to around P10-P12/bottle:
it's only water after all, for pete's sake!!!

So what are you waiting for?
DON'T SPIT, SWALLOW!!!





p.s.

a look at the original VITAMIN WATER from the U.S.A.:

"When TIMMY Met MAYEN": as explosive as "When Brian Met DJ"!!!

meet Timmy from London

and Mayen from Leyte...

Theirs is the classic love story:


boy meets girl,

boy loses girl...

then...

according to the boy,
girl comes up with a complicated Machiavellian scam
involving the Paranaque Medical Center, the Tierra Maria Estates,
the British Embassy in the Philippines, and an ectopic pregnancy.


Who's telling the truth, and who's not?
Who's innocent, and who's guilty?
Will there be a happy ending?

You be the judge.


It's an extremely well-written,
exhaustively documented account
(complete with pictures and YM transcripts)
of one man's long-distance love affair
gone horribly, horribly wrong....

it starts off as an affecting love story,
continues as a fine travelogue of Leyte,
a commentary on Filipinos and their foreign friends,
and finally, it evolves into
an intense cyber-detective investigative report.

It may be an indictment,
but it is certainly a fair one;
Tim provides all the links to Mayen's own on-line rebuttals.



Click on the main blog link below,
and scroll down until you see the
the 34 compelling chapter links of the:

"HOSPITAL SCAMS"

1 - Preface
2 - Encounter
3 - Preparations
4 - Arrival
5 - In her hands
6 - Taal Lake
7 - Shopping
8 - Day with Sir F
9 - To Leyte
10 - To the Barrio
11 - Picnic
12 - Sister arrives
13 - Bakla basketball
14 - To Manila
15 - Last moments
16 - Waiting
17 - Hindsight
18 - Squeezing
19 - Decision time
20 - A friend indeed
21 - Non-arrival
22 - Try the Embassy
23 - Bill arrives
24 - Four Feathers
25 - Closure
26 - From Surigao
27 - Webcam
28 - Revelation day
29 - Stroke
30 - To Sogod
31 - Revelation 2
32 - Subterfuge
33 - Counter attack
34 - Prologue

DVD DoubleHeader : two movies that will SCARE the SH*T out of you!!!

I just love the new packaging of DiBiDis:

Blu-Ray, baby!!!

Much has been said about M.Night's rapid descent
into mediocrity after his THE SIXTH SENSE masterpiece;

be that as it may, and
despite the waterlogged fiasco that was Lady in the Water,

I'm not shy to say that I remain a Shyamalan loyalist:
Unbreakable and The Village will always be my favorites.

THE HAPPENING might be the shortest and least complicated
of his films; running at less than 90 minutes,
the movie is almost like a parable;
a simple cautionary tale about protecting our environment.


Pretty simple, true,
but damn scary as well.


There are several M. Night trademark "gulat!" scenes
that made me jump out of my seat, and the
perfectly eerie score by James Newton Howard
drove me to cover my eyes with my hands.

I'm pretty certain that the writer/director
was influenced in no small way by War of the Worlds,
Stephen King's The Stand, and other apocalyptic dramas.

As a matter of fact,
the first scenes of The Happening seem to be lifted
directly off the pages of King's 2006 bestseller, CELL.



"The event that came to be known as The Pulse began at 3:03 p.m.,
eastern standard time, on the afternoon of October 1.
The term was a misnomer, of course,
but within ten hours of the event,
most of the scientists capable of pointing this out
were either dead or insane. The name hardly mattered, in any case.
What mattered was the effect.



At three o'clock on that day,
a young man of no particular importance to history came walking —
almost bouncing — east along Boylston Street in Boston.
His name was Clayton Riddell.
There was an expression of undoubted contentment on his face
to go along with the spring in his step.

Clay's attention was attracted by the tinkle of an ice cream truck.
It was parked across from the Four Seasons Hotel
(which was even grander than the Copley Square)

Three kids were clustered around the window,
bookbags at their feet, waiting to receive goodies.
Behind them stood a woman in a pants suit with a poodle on a leash...



The woman in the power suit raised the hand holding the leash
and plugged a long-nailed finger into her free ear.

Clay winced, fearing for her eardrum.
He imagined drawing her: the dog on the leash,
the power suit, the fashionably short hair...
and one small trickle of blood from around the finger in her ear.



Then there came another cry from the Common,
not a human one this time but something between
a surprised yelp and a hurt yowl.

Somewhere — it sounded like maybe around the corner on Newbury Street —
something exploded.




Pixie Dark cried out, ''Who are you? What's happening?''

At the sound of her friend's voice,
Pixie Light whipped her bloody head around.
Blood dripped from the short dagger-points of hair
overhanging her forehead.
Eyes like white lamps peered from blood-dappled sockets.

Pixie Dark looked at Clay, her eyes wide.
''Who are you?'' she repeated...

and then: ''Who am I?''"



See what I mean?
King should receive Royalties!!!


Whatever the result of any litigation, if ever,
between the Horror Meisters,

I still highly recommend that,
if you missed it in the theaters,

watch The Happening on "Blu-Ray";
Scary Shit Happens!!!



Remember THE BEACH?

Alex Garland's must-read novel for all beach bums,
which Danny Boyle turned into an excellent film
starring Leonardo DiCaprio?

Well, guess what?


THE RUINS
is the Horror Version of The Beach...
a tropical paradise goes straight to hell.


The movie is 100% true to the scariest book of 2007,
and includes the goriest and bloodiest
amputation and self-mutilation scenes ever.

No wonder Stephen King is a fan!!!




from www.ew.com:

Stephen King's review of The Ruins


When I heard that Scott Smith was publishing a new novel this summer,
I felt the way I did when my kids came in an hour or two late
from their weekend dates:

a combination of welcoming relief (thank God you're back)
mingled with exasperation and anger (where the hell have you been?).


Well, it's only a book, you say, and maybe that's true,
but Scott Smith is a singularly gifted writer,
and it seems to me that the twelve years between his debut--

the cult smash A Simple Plan--

and his return this summer with The Ruins is cause for exasperation,
if not outright anger.

Certainly Smith, who has been invisible save for his
Academy Award-nominated screenplay for the film version of A Simple Plan,
will have some 'splainin to do about how he spent his summer vacation.

Make that his last twelve summer vacations.



But enough.
The new book is here, and the question devotees of A Simple Plan
will want answered is whether or not this book generates anything
like Plan's harrowing suspense.

The answer is yes.

THE RUINS is going to be America's literary shock-show this summer,
doing for vacations in Mexico what JAWS did for beach weekends on Long Island.

Ang Huling-Huling EL BIMBO...

ONE NIGHT ONLY,
and never again?

ERASERHEADS

UltraElectroMagneticReunion!
August 30, 2008

See you at the CCP,
Pare Ko!!!

LIFE of PIE

First, the tasty KERI RUSSELL starred
in one of the sweetest films of 2007,

then, a supernatural comedy called
PUSHING DAISIES premiered on TV,

and a key plot element in both?

PIES.


In September of last year,
I fell for Red Ribbon's seductive
BANOFFEE PIE!!!




I admit,
all these have addicted me to
that classic All-American dessert,
and I recently decided to bake my own;

while I try to perfect my recipe for
Spanky's SEXUAL HEALING Pie,
(strawberries & chocolate!!!)


I've been noshing on these goodies:


After their terrific trio of treats,
BURGER KING does it again, and this time,
they come up with their best dessert ever!

COOKIE DOUGH PIE:
chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough
generously scattered on a bed of choco chips and cream,
all this, on top of a chocolatey graham cracker crust.

Orgasmically good!!!





And just a couple of days ago,
I once again enjoyed what is arguably
The Best Dessert in Manila,
Chateau 1771's classic confection of coffee cream,
caramel topping & cookie crust:

COFFEE PIE!!!

P.S.

I'm so glad that it's available
in the "Best Balikbayan Restaurant",
SENTRO 1771 in Greenbelt, where the

Boneless Crispy Pata & Sinigang Corned Beef
have become the sureball specialties
guaranteed to please the palate of any Pinoy!!!