COKE ZERO, now with L-Carnitine!!!
in the midst of a 6-hour feast of grilling & chilling
in one of the first, and still one of the best
Korean Restaurants in the Philippines,
all the way in Noveleta, Cavite (!!!)
the stagerring amounts of Sam Gyup Sal (a.k.a. Korean Bacon),
made me want to convince my beer-guzzling, vodka-shooting friends that...
if taken after a calorie-laden, high cholesterol meal,
would actually be the perfect digestif, as it "contains"
the fat-burning amino acid that's propelling Del Monte's "Fit & Right",
URC's "Fab" fruit juices, and RFM's "VitWater" to corpulent sales!
And so, partly to lessen their oily dietary guilt
from all the succulent pork fat that they were imbibing,
I took advantage of my friends' booze-addled minds,
their drowsiness due to over-eating, and their usual
very high regard and trust in me (bwahahahaha!),
and started discoursing on the heretofore unknown benefits of
Coke Zero with L-Carnitine:
"L-Carnitine boosts energy by stimulating the body's burning
of tryglycerides as fuel,
sparing the supply of glycogen stored in the liver for heavier exertion.
During exercise, the body will burn fat at a rate of 75-80% of maximum exertion,
thus less glycogen from carbohydrates is burned.
L-carnitine allows the body to burn more fat, save more glycogen,
and ultimately boost stamina and endurance.
By providing more fat to the muscles,
carnitine makes accessible an otherwise unavailable energy SOURCE."
after all that mumbo-jumbo pseudo-science
that was coming from my forked tongue,
only one person believed me,
and this diet-conscious gentleman ended up
drinking almost 2 liters of Coke Zero:
Just as well,
because he was our designated driver back to Manila,
and all the hypothetical L-Carnitine he greedily drank
prevented him from attacking the San Miguel & Absolut,
thus guaranteeing us a a safe, if burp-y trip home!!!
Thanks again and Happy 31st Birthday,
HERB d PERV!!!!