ROCKY 6 : rage against the machine

I saw the trailer for this 5th sequel
to the 1976 Best Picture Oscar winner
right before the Oliver Stone snoozefest,
World Trade Center.

The premise was so absurd,
I snorted soda outta my nose.

Picture this:
Rocky Balboa,
showing no traces of the creeping Parkinson's Disease
that he had in Rocky V,

is sitting in a dodgy bar with the now white-haired Paulie;
they see a news item that features a PS2-type game
that matches Rocky with the current champion,
MASON "The Line" DIXON. (puuhhlleeeezzz!!!)



In the computer simulation,
Balboa beats Dixon.

Right there and then,
Rocky decides to challenge Mason.

Cue dramatic Bill Conti music
for the now-formulaic Rocky Training Montage.

Somehow, it's not inspiring anymore.

Just Sad.



YO!
Adrian, Rocky's geeky then glamorous wife,
is nowhere to be seen.

Maybe she died...


... of embarrassment.