Thursday, December 27, 2007


if you rate your movies as i do,
on a scale of:

1 ~ bored to copious tears, prone to texting
10 ~ entertained every single fooking minute

then this would have to be in your Top 10 for 2007,

along with this movie,

featuring Clive Owen as a mysterious cold-blooded
sharpshooting avenger
spouting the best Bond-ian one liners since Connery,
and in fact looking eerily like failed 007s
Timothy Dalton/George Lazenby;

(don't ask!)

Monica Bellucci as a Lactating Hooker with a Heart of Gold;
(don't ask!)

and character actor supreme Paul Giamatti
as a shady government/gun industry hitman
who, by the way, is also a bit of a necrophiliac.

(don't ask!)

is a mishmash of ;

classic John Woo,
back when he was still making movies in Hong Kong
with Chow Yun Fat;
(before he became too Hollywoodish & lovey-DOVEy),

Quentin Tarantino's dark comedic dialogue and
Robert Rodriguez's outrageous action sequences,

all the best parts you love in James Bond movies,

a classier,
but grittier version of Jason Statham's warp-speed Crank,

and strangely enough,
Three Men and a Baby.
(I said, don't ask!)



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