MEAT THE BEATLES : how to butcher the songs of John & Paul on American Idol

I've been addicted to American Idol since 2004,
when Season 3 burst into Philippine TV screens,
the flames fanned by the presence of two Pinays,
Camille Velasco and Jasmine Trias in the Top 12.

And since then,
I've been waiting for the IDOLS to sing
the songs of my original idols, THE BEATLES.



Tonight, I got my wish.

The Best American Idol Top 12 ever,
singing what simply are,
The Best Songs,
EVER!

But,
as the old backhanded saying goes,
"be careful what you wish for, you just might get it"!

So here it is,
how the Top 12 of Season 7 carved out the Beatles,
from horrible slashes to fine cuts,
ranked from Worst to Best, twelve to one.



This...

is AMERICAN IDOL!!!


12. Kristy Lee Cook
"Eight Days a Week"
> it was a little bit country, a little bit polka,
and definitely all covered in country cottage cheese.
Kristy and her mad fiddlers Hee Haw-ed a classic.




11. David Hernandez
"I Saw Her Standing There"
> imagine Sanjaya prancing around like a Wham-era George Michael
in a High School Musical production disaster. . .
David was so corny, he made the band sound bad.




10. David Archuleta
"We Can Work it Out"
> how could you forget the freakin' lyrics? Twice!
You are no Stevie Wonder, boy wonder!
BOO! BOO!! BOO!!!




9. Syesha Mercado
"Got to Get You into My Life"
> synthetic plastic generic version of the soulful
Earth, Wind, & Fire arrangement.
Syesha's just way too artificial for me.




8. Michael Johns
"Across the Universe"
> just bland and boring; watch the movie instead.
Not bad, but Michael seems to have reached his peak
with his Bohemian rhapsodizing during Hollywood week.




7. Amanda Overmyer
"You Can't Do That"
> Elvis is in the building! From the stance to the dance,
the nurse with the Bride of Frankenstein hairstyle
is now the rockin' Daughtry of Elvis!




6. Jason Castro
"If I Fell"
> the original soared when John & Paul harmonized,
and Jason sang alone and couldn't reach the high notes,
but you gotta admit, his goofy folkie charm does work.




5. Carly Smithson
"Come Together"
> this is a dirty, gritty, sexy song,
and Carly came out and growled and prowled the stage.
Sing a U2 song for me next, honey. You rock!!!




4. Brooke White
"Let it Be"
> just pure sincerity coming at me in waves through the TV;
it's obvious that she's the biggest Beatles fan among the 12,
"and I love her", to quote Lennon-McCartney~




3. Ramiele Malubay
"In My Life"
> so I'm biased, sue me for loving my own!
The judges called it boring, but I call it soothing;
Ramiele's is a new kind of diva, pure crystal clear vocal beauty.




2. David Cook
"Eleanor Rigby"
> one of the Beatles' saddest songs, and slightly sinister too;
perfect for the new maven of rock remakes, the talented Mr. Cook.

And when the stage lights supernova-ed
as David ripped into the chorus,
I swore I saw and heard the second coming of Eddie Vedder!




1. Chikezie Eze
"She's a Woman"
> The Beatles actually started out as a skiffle band,
not unlike the band that started playing the song with Chikezie;

and like the music of the boys from Liverpool,
from simple beginnings,
the song built up, rocked out,
and went into wonderful new directions.

And just like that,
this season's underdog vaulted into a top dawg position,
thanks to a hyper-active, ultra-joyful soulful rendition!