how the PHILIPPINE SENATE turned into AMERICAN IDOL!!!

America's #1 Reality TV Show,
AMERICAN IDOL on the Fox Network

and

The Philippines' #1 Reality TV Show,
ZTE BROADBAND HEARINGS on ANC,

have each given birth to new Idols:

both are diminutive, and
both instantly captured the hearts of their fellow Pinoys,
because both are prone to crying copious tears!

Ramiele Malubay surely is a fine singer,
and as for Jun Lozada,
who's surely fine-tuned all of his statements,
magaling talaga siyang "kumanta"!

Ryan Seacrest hosts American Idol,
and often gets surprised by the results;
sometimes, his too-cute antics can be irritating;

Sen. Ping Lacson hosted many dinners
for the Senate's "surprise witnesses";

sometimes, the Senator gets irritated
when he doesn't get the results that he wants
because his witnesses try to be too cute.

Randy Jackson and Sen. Allan Peter Cayetano
always get to speak first on the "Judges' Table";

Sen. Allan gets hot when he thinks the country is going to the dogs,
and Randy doesn't seem to think, and always says
"that was hot, dawg!!!"

Both of them also tend to repeat themselves quite often,
because most of their singers and witnesses tend to be "pitchy".

Things would be so dull without
Sen. Jamby Madrigal and Paula Abdul,
the two ladies who consistently deliver
the most spectacular non-sequiturs in their respective shows;

airhead Paula's thoughts and language
are all about glorious beauty and colors,

and heiress Sen. Jamby's language gets colorful
whenever she thinks about the "beauty" of Gloria!

And finally,
Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile and Simon Cowell,
the most erudite characters in these shows;

both are curmudgeons always ready with a cantankerous comment,
and often,
both can barely disguise their contempt for what they have to endure...

"because, if I'm being honest,
most of the people they have to listen to
seem to be doing karaoke,
are slightly cabaret,
and are really quite appalling!!!"