The NOSE Knows NOISE Pollution

E kung...
i-"BASEHLIN ISYAMPU"
ko kaya yang malaking bunganga mo?

That's how he hollers
"Vaseline Shampoo",

perhaps trying out
a new advertising tactic
that badgers consumers
into washing their hair just to get him to shut up.



My car's color-coded on Mondays,
and at times, I have to suffer through
this loud, boorish man's crowing
as I wade through traffic in a taxicab.

He's as irritating as FOGHORN LEGHORN,
that classic character from Looney Tunes.
They sound, and even look alike!



Looney is the operative word here.
A year ago, MIKE ENRIQUEZ,
he of the magnificent proboscis,
jologsized 97.1 LS-FM,

the station that was,
for decades, MetroManila's Campus Radio,
an excellent portal for university events,
and turned it into a universally baduy Energy FM wannabe.



The experiment failed miserably,
and instead of firing himself,

he fired the loyal DJs of the station,
among whom were some of the best (not just pa-cute)
English speakers on the airwaves,

who had to suffer through the indignity
of making themselves sound like jeepney barkers in Recto
upon the looney orders of the great Kapuso.