If I get one more text from one of my 'friends' saying
"Gutom na ME", I'll reply with a text stating that
our fu-budding friendship is terminated imMEdiately.
If I hear one more sportscaster saying an unnecessary
"OF COURSE" when he just wants to say "Syempre...",
I'll sic the ghost of the great Joe Cantada on him.
If I see one more dumbass Kapamilya or Kapuso sputtering a
"BASICALLY" when these airheads actually mean "Eh, kasi...",
I swear I'll smack them on the head with a Webster's Unabridged.
If I read ÜBER used one more time in a blog post,
I'll smote it with some good Old Testament wrath;
it's basically überused, of course. Pagod na Me!
That's how I usually start off my corporate POWER ENGLISH modules
and IELTS review classes for U.S.-bound nurses
and migrants to Canada,
where together with my excellent co-teachers,
Agatha, Sam, Red, Jam, Tony, and Teddy,
we try to restore the Pinoy's English Proficiency Skills,
ONE WORD AT A TIME.
It's Tough Love,
but it certainly works, baby!!!
I suggest you substitute "absolutely" for "über",
"actually" or "essentially" for "basically",
"certainly" for "of course",
"hoy, gago! gutom na 'ko" for "gutom na me"!!!