The Castrated PHILIPPINE PLAYBOY

Philippine Playboy won't show
Full Nudity

New edition to show Filipino 'playmates,'
no frontal nudity or genitalia


MANILA, Philippines -
A Philippine edition of Playboy will debut on newsstands next week,
but the traditionally racy magazine will not show frontal nudity,
the editor-in-chief said Thursday.

"Maybe one nipple," he said.
(And maybe, one buttcheek, one armpit, one toenail, one tooth, etc.)

Beting Laygo Dolor said the monthly magazine —
synonymous the world over with centerfolds of
bare-breasted women —
will feature "anything under the sun of interest to men,"
combining the work of investigative journalists
and award-winning fiction writers.
(that no one will really read)

"Maxim and FHM are called laddy magazines.
We can be called a Dad magazine,"
(which Dad will certainly hide from Mom)

"There will be no full frontal nudity."
(pero pag nakatalikod, puwede full frontal nudity!)



"We are targeting a different demographic --
the slightly mature, more upscale men," Dolor said.
(a.k.a., the DOM crowd)

"The main reasons for them buying this magazine
is for the artwork, articles and photography," he said.
(bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! ULOL.)

Dolor, who describes himself as a "bad Catholic,"
said the religion's values had influenced the decision
not to go for a raunchier look for the magazine.
("good Catholics" buy Maxim/FHM and go to confession after)

"I don't want to be ashamed to show it to my mother,"
(o sige, ikalat na ang Playboy Philippines sa mga salon ni Ricky Reyes!)

"I have daughters in their twenties.
It's something that I want them to also enjoy.
I want them to be proud of their Dad."
(yup, children really idolize parents who publish softcore porn)


The magazine will be sold across the Philippines
at a cost of 199 pesos.
(but all the pics will be available for free on the interwebs!!!)


Dolor said Playboy Philippines
would feature typical Filipino beauties but not celebrities,
along with fashion, motoring, sports and technology features.
(and a whole lot of advertisments for Viagra!)

Thirty percent of its content will come from the U.S. edition.
(Playboy Philippines' 1st Cover Girl is a.... Brazilian!)