Sunday, May 20, 2007

SHREK 3 Strikes Out!!!

i'm so soo disappointed.

after the non-stop laughs and creative genius in Shreks 1 and 2,
this third installment seems to have run out of
(swamp) gas.

Shrek 3 in a word is..........disjointed;
as I was watching it, I couldn't tell if it wanted to be:

a female empowerment movie,
a revenge fantasy,
a coming-of-age teenage film,
or a love story of newlyweds having a baby.

none of these elements really come together in the film.

It seems like George Lucas snuck in
and somehow directed this movie the same way he did his excruciating
StarWars : The Phantom Menace.

In Shrek 3,
there's a really really tedious and totally unnecessary subplot
about a young King Arthur (yes, that Arthur of Camelot!)
that will remind you of the irritating petulance of the young Anakin Skywalker.

I never thought I'd ever use "BORING" to describe a Shrek film,
but this one really is.

There are some excellent jokes in the movie,
but you already saw the best bits in the trailers, actually.

But these laugh out loud moments come few and far between.
There are l-o-n-g stretches where like Quai Gon Jin and Anakin,
Shrek and the young Arthur discuss the maturity process of self-discovery,

and during these scenes,
there was total unappreciative silence in the movie theater....
the adults and parents were almost falling asleep,
and the poor kids got completely restless and clueless.

if you're going to put the young King Arthur (and Merlin the Magician!!!)
in a movie, you better damn well include EXCALIBUR!!!!

And since we're on the topic of Swords (and lightsabers),
to conclude The Phantom Menace analogy,
this time around,

Donkey and Puss in Boots,
act rather like the horrendously unfunny Jar Jar Binks.
Their antics, forced slapstick.

The Movie Tries TOO HARD.
Everyone but the kitchen sink in the land of fairy tales,
including Captain Hook (!) from Peter Pan,
are forced into the storyline just too keep us entertained.

The jokes are way too RANDOM.
A Shrek movie that encourages children to laugh during a deathbed scene?
That's just plain bad taste on the part of the director and screenwriters.

Pop Songs are utilized to get appreciative nods from the adults in the audience,
but they aren't even used properly....

for instance,
I got jazzed when I heard Paul McCartney's Live and Let Die theme,
and I figured that we would somehow get a Shrek 007 spoof,
or a surprise appearance by Sir Paul as a CGI character,

the song just faded out............ just like that.

Great set-up,
and absolutely zero denouement.

Just like .....


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