Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hell Hath No Fury like an ASTRONAUT Scorned!!!

Just in time for Valentine's Day:
a precautionary tale....

By now, you've surely heard about LISA NOWAK,
the NASA Space Shuttle astronaut
who drove more than 900 miles across the U.S.
to attempt to murder her rival in love.

Fortunately, she was arrested
before she could complete the dastardly deed.

While the situation in itself seems commonplace,
the details surrounding Nowak's plan
are the stuff of legendary monologues
that Dave, Conan, and Jay dream of....

1. her weapons:
a BB gun (!), a steel mallet, pepper spray, & rubber tubing (!!)

2. her outfit:
a wig & a trenchcoat

3. and best of all...
so that she wouldn't have to stop for bathroom breaks,
she wore Adult Diapers throughout her drive.
(she apparently got used to this in space,
as astronauts are required to wear NASA diapers)

Fr. Macayan,
my Algebra terror teacher
during my freshman year in High School,
used to call all us flunkers

I'd like to welcome Ms. Nowak to the club!!


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