SUMMER LOVIN'

Like Danny and Sandy in Grease,

you'll never know who you'll meet at the beach...

Have a Great Weekend!!!

BLAIR goes BLUE

"The Leader as Nation Builder in a Time of Globalization"


Former Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
TONY BLAIR
gave a speech at the Ateneo today,


and I was fortunate enough to disguise myself as
Fr. Bienvenido Nebres, President of the Ateneo,
for my greatest photo-op ever with my English Idol!!!




Sorry, Fr. Ben!!!

Ang Pagbabalik ni BIGOTE!!!

He's been hogging the headlines all week:

first, he's once again implicated in
the Buddy Dacer rubout,

and then,
in perhaps the best argument ever for a
Mandatory Retirement Age for the Philippines' Elected Officials,
Enrile urges Erap to run for President again!



This can only mean one thing.

It's time for...


The Return of ERAP Jokes!!!

Isang araw,
kinuha ng isang Americano na Pari
si Erap para maging "interpreter" niya...


Priest:
"The Lord was crucified between two robbers."

Erap:
"Si Hesus ay ipinako sa gitna ng dalawang goma."



Priest:
"We need to sacrifice."

Erap:
"Kailangan natin ng dalawang sakong bigas."



Priest:
"If we do not repent,"

Erap:
"Kapag hindi natin pinturahan ulit,"



Priest:
"the Wrath of God will come upon us."

Erap:
"ang mga Daga ng Diyos ay pupunta sa atin."


(natahimik sila pareho)


Priest:
"Well, well..."

Erap
"Balon, balon..."

One Pinoy's JOURNEY...

It was more than just a concert;

it was a gathering of 20,000 plus Pinoys,
witnessing a Kabayan live out his Rock and Roll Fantasy:

For over 20 years,
I'm pretty sure that this was also one of the favorite
(and oldest!) CDs of a certain ARNEL PINEDA:

And I'm also sure that never ever,
in his wildest dreams as a kid in Sampaloc
or late-night booze-induced highs singing in 'Gapo,
did he ever imagine this:

Almost All
of the Steve Perry-era Journey Classics were sung:

Arnel made us proud with his performances of
Don't Stop Believin', Wheel in the Sky, Faithfully,
Ask The Lonely, Any Way You Want It...

and the best song of the night,

LIGHTS,

a love song for the city of San Francisco,
which turned out to be perfect for
another City by the Bay, Manila!

... and the obvious favorites of the crowd:

Open Arms and Separate Ways!!!

Surprisingly,
it was a cool and breezy March evening,

and even more surprisingly,
a lot of people started filing out after Journey
performed the Pinoy KTV classic ballads:
Faithfully and Open Arms.


Not us though,
we stayed on 'til the very end of the show,
LOVIN' TOUCHIN' SQUEEZIN'
each other!!!

And I stayed seated until the bouncers and the ushers
forced me out of the Mall of Asia concert grounds.

I was still shouting for the band to come back and play
I'LL BE ALRIGHT WITHOUT YOU!!!
SEND HER MY LOVE!!!


And sadly the one song that everyone expected to hear
was not part of the song list for the night.


My numero uno el favorito Journey song,

and I was still crying out for it,
half an hour after the concert:

WHO'S CRYING NOW?

Nonetheless,
it was definitely a night to remember!

Thank You, Guitar God Neal Schon,
for YouTube-ing Arnel Pineda!!!

Our JOURNEY eventually led us to nearby HOOTERS,
for the advance birthday celebrations
of rock and roll legend Arvi,
big momma Dedet,

as well as our advance party for
the decade and a half of Marital Bliss
for Arvi and his wife, Marmi.

The world-famous Buffalo Wings were spectacular,
and so were the Hooters Girls.

And after a very wholesome lap dance complete with balloons,
Bday Boy Arvi felt like he was a kid in Disneyland!

As for me,
since it is the Lenten Season after all,

I tried my best to behave...

Crikey, CROCODILE Pulutan!!!

Burning Questions:

If an animal spends most of its life in water rather than land,
can it be considered a fish?

If crocs (not the fugly shoes) are reptiles,
can Catholics eat their flesh on Fridays during Lent?

If crocodile meat is really good for asthma,
and is low in cholesterol too, is it better than pork?

The Thursday Night Drinking Club
finally had another meeting after months of parched throats,

and we were intrigued once again
by the latest item on the Golden Fortune menu:

FRIED CROCODILE MEAT with SALT & CHILI!!!

Not surprisingly,
the "meat" has a really interesting texture:

white flesh with a very clean taste,
almost like a cream dory fillet, but with more bite.

And no,
it does NOT taste like chicken...

... it tastes more like this:

Crocodile Meat and Frog's Legs;

just two of the reasons why I so love
this cleanest of reptile/amphibian restaurants
in the middle of Chinatown.


But if you're not so inclined for more exotic fare,
Golden Fortune also serves

The Best, bar none, Swahe in Manila!!!

San Miguel Beers (including the All-Malt Premium)
are on a special Buy 3, Take 1 Free promo
from 9pm onwards every single day.

But if you really want to complete the China experience,
you gotta have the Tsing Tao!!!

Look for Linda or Samuel,
the two best servers ever!

Oh, you can bring your scotch/vodka libations too!
Corkage is Free at...



GOLDEN FORTUNE
1283 Soler St.,
Binondo, Manila
telephone: 244-2777

PRISON BREAK!!!

Maybe some closeted dude in Malacañang
has a really big crush on Michael Scofield?

Our Wardens Suck.

How else can those characters by the Pasig River
explain their successive re-enactments of scenes
from the very popular (but soon-to-end) series?




First, it was goodbye to his airconditioned Muntinlupa condo
(with a wide-screen plasma television!)
for teenager-killer Claudio Teehankee Jr.,

And then, in a rapid-fire burst of tender clemency
and misplaced sympathy for the soldiers who continue
spinning a tale of Galman-ic marksmanship,

ALL of the convicted conspirators of the assassination
of Ninoy Aquino were given their walking papers.

Take Note:
One of these men pulled the trigger.
The rest have been covering up for him
for a quarter of a century, without remorse.

And just yesterday,
a convicted child-rapist was paroled,
and he looked as happy as Shrek in a swamp,

for he was free again to spread his love, but
hopefully this time, not with elementary school children.

And I'm pretty sure that Daniel Smith will be
leaving on a jet plane very very soon...

and why not?


He looks exactly like the star of Prison Break!

So how did this Orgy of Pardons begin in the first place?

Ask him. Blame her!!!

American HAYYYYYYYYYdol

After 8 seasons,
have I become too jaded a fan?

After their fruitless championing of Archuleta last year,
have I finally tired of all the judges' pimping?



Or is this really the most mind-numbingly
boring cast of characters ever in American Idol history?

SPANX does a SIMON:

>>> Li'l Rounds is a lot boring


>>> Matt Giraud compared to Michael Bublé?
The judges must all be drinking from
Paula's glass of Coke this year.


>>> Danny Gokey did a Carrie Underwood
and lost control of the wheel. Jesus!!!


>>> Anoop is like a Country Waffle:
square, lightweight, and quite tasteless
without the extra (hype) syrup.


>>> Scott, the visually-impaired piano man?
All his songs sound like monotonous Elton John rejects.
Sorry, but pimping and pandering to this very mediocre singer
is actually quite insulting to people with disabilities.


>>> Adam squealed like a sow stuck in a farm fence.
Prrof? Google Ned Beatty in the movie "Deliverance"


>>> Randy Travis is Keith Richard's country bumpkin cousin;
he can play Jack Sparrow's Uncle from the Americas
in the next Pirates of the Caribbean sequel.

There's one saving grace though...

she's a bit of nut,
she's sometimes out of tune,
she's got tattoos straight out of Miami Ink,
she's got dance moves like Seinfeld's Elaine,

but she's the one True Original this year:

I love MEGAN!!!

The BLAIR Speech Project

The World's Best Political Speaker
of the last (pre-Obama) decade will visit Manila next week:

Too bad,
at these prices, I'm positive
that only the most Unprincipled Leaders
in the Philippines will be able to afford the tickets!

Expect a few "Presidentiables in 2010"
to be around and gawk at Tony Blair,
and elbow each other for the best photo op!!!

I hope they actually listen to the former Prime Minister,
and maybe,
and this is me being bloody optimistic,
actually learn a thing or two about governance.

DeKKadent!!!

Your favorite glazed sugar bombs now made more deadly,
drenched with the deepest darkest chocolate...




Krispy Kreme is EVIL

but

Krispy Kreme is LOVE.

COLD SUMMER NIGHTS

To the Man from Manila from Manila Boy,

Maraming Maraming Salamat!

Why Francis M is the Philippines' Bob M:

1. Both were patriots who truly loved their countries,
and expressed it through their songs, most notably,
Mga Kababayan Ko and Redemption Song.

2. Both artists will forever be identified
with the music they put their indelible signature on:
Rap and Reggae respectively.

3. Both men had lots of children;
12 for Bob, 8 for Francis.

4. Both were young victims of cancer:
Marley was 36; Magalona, 44.

5. Both loved, and I say this with the utmost respect,
the Ganja!

The VICTORIA COURT Soundtrack: The "Biglang Liko" Album

I had to shut my innocent virgin eyes
when I saw this P295.00 CD at Music One:

tracks include, quite appropriately :

SEXY LOVE by ne-yo,
PUSH THE BUTTON by sugababes,
LET GO by frou frou,
DON'T STOP by brazilian girls,
and
GLORY BOX by portishead!!!



It just may be the Ultimate Seduction CD,
and since it may work too well,
it comes with a Victoria Court Privilege Card.

Definitely,
a Must Play in your car during your next hot date!!!

BOURDAIN Spreads the Love for SISIG, LECHON, and SAN MIGUEL BEER

The long-awaited, much-anticipated
PHILIPPINES episode of NO RESERVATIONS,

The Travel Channel's most popular show
(seen on Discovery Travel & Living in Asia),

looked like the longest TV commercial ever
for San Miguel Beer.

It had beautiful backlit product shots of
the famous amber beer bottle,

and in almost every scene,
Bourdain was tenderly holding a Pale Pilsen.

The scenes were so quintesentially,
so unquestionably Pinoy,

that the whole show succeeded most as a love letter
to the Philippine's national drink,
and all the pulutan that goes with it.

SMB: indeed, the essence of the Filipino!!!




And the episode,
which featured a surprsingly non-snarky Bourdain
almost poignantly ruminating about our Philippine diaspora,

gave justice and bore fruit
to the outstanding efforts to promote our country,

via the #1 food show in the world,

by a balikbayan from New York
who only recently discovered his native land.

Maraming Salamat,
AUGUSTO!!!






I'm totally loving the fact
that through No Reservations,

and other high-rating U.S. television programs,
(Pinoys have featured prominently in 2009
in LOST, 30 ROCK, and TOP CHEF!!!)
the positve image of the Filipino is uplifted

from the morass of negativity that
our very own government has dumped us in.





And I'm doubly pleased by No Reservations Philippines
because two very good friends were the tour guides
of Anthony Bourdain in my home city of Manila,
and my beloved home province of Pampanga!!!


Ivan Man Dy
of the Big Binondo Food Woks,

and one of my partners in
UltimatePhilippines.com,

introduced Bourdain to Manila's delights:
lumpia, taho, pansit, adobo, and even
the "make tusok-tusok the chickenballs".



Uncle Claude Tayag
did Pampanga and the Philippines proud
by letting the host of the show fall in love with
sinigang, papaitan, and Bourdain's new obsession:

SISIG!!!





As a tribute and thank you
to the late, great
Aling Lucing,

who was single-handedly responsible
for re-inventing sisig as our National Pulutan,

I gave a DVD copy of the show to her granddaughter
for the whole Cunanan clan to enjoy at home,
and to show in their restaurant by the "riles".

But no matter how great a TV show is,
nothing beats tasting the food yourself, right?

And so,
together with my partners in
Ultimate Philippines Tours,

Anton Diaz of Our Awesome Planet,
Ivan Henares of Ivan About Town,
and
Ivan Man Dy of Old Manila Walks,

we're going one step further,
and we're inviting you to experience first-hand,

BOURDAIN'S PAMPANGA...

We are excited to bring you the tour that made
Ultimate Philippines Tours famous…

The Ultimate Pampanga Culinary "BALE DUTUNG" Tour!



Date: March 28, 2009, Saturday
Time: 7am to 7pm
Meeting Place: Starbucks 6750







Pampanga in a Plate Full!
The Ultimate Pampanga Food Tour

We are excited to bring you
THE Ultimate Pampanga Food Tour.

We'll enjoy the ULTIMATE 5-WAYS LECHON with Claude Tayag.

Join us for this Ultimate Pampanga Tour!



Tour Description:
Journey to the central heartland as we immerse ourselves
in ALL things Kapampangan! From Baroque to Betute,

its fun-filled day as we poke around and get intimate
with the very best of Pampanga's cultural offerings.

Gaze at the jewel-box of church in Betis
and walk through the historic lahar-buried town of Bacolor.

We'll stuff ourselves silly
with the best Kapampangan fare
by one of the country's best known Pampango chefs!


A tour with nothing but Kapampangan cool!



You will discover:

The Awesome 5-ways Lechon by Claude Tayag!!!
(since we can't go to Cebu for Bourdain's "Best Pig Ever",
this just may be even better...)


Meet Anthony Bourdain's Tour Guides in Manila and Pampanga!
And So Many More Surprises…



The Tour Experience:
Betis Church * Town of Bacolor *
Claude Tayag's Bale Dutung Restaurant *
Pampanga Specialty Shops



Tour Fee:
P3,800/ Person
- inclusive of tour, lunch, snacks and surprises.
- maximum of 30 people

send an e-mail to

Reservations@UltimatePhilippines.com

or text/call Ivan Man Dy at 0917-3291622
to reserve your slot!

MAG-BEER MUNA TAYO?

ISA PA NGA!

O ANONG SARAP....