Thank God It's FRY Day!!!

The humble, much-maligned French Fried Potato,
scourge of dieters prone to carbo-loathing,

elevated to a sublime new gourmet dish,
when fried in fine aceite de oliva:



Who woulda thought?
Hefty home-cut fries cooked in Olive Oil.



There's only one place that I know of
that serves these magnificent pommes frites:

MANOS GREEK TAVERNA
up in Tagaytay!

5am last Sunday with our host Manos;
we noshed on his olive oil french fries from dusk til dawn...

Fridays at MAX'S

Two new meat-less specialties
for those Lenten Fridays...

now all you Good Catholics

have more options in addition to

Jollibee's excellent mega-size Tuna Pie

and

Wendy's classic Shrimp Sandwich!!!

Siyempre,
si suking Spanky,
piniritong manok pa rin ang pinatos!

NOT SUBTLE at all...

That's 210,000,000,000 pesoses,
for Mindanao Mayors pa lang yan!

Magkano kaya sa Luzon at Vizayas?

I wonder if this Mayor will be getting an IRA?
(Internal Revenue Allotment)

Meet Jerry Pelayo of Candaba, Pampanga;
he's the guy you always see passionately defending,
and pledging allegiance to his Cabalen in Malacanang.

I respectfully suggest that instead of spending all your time
spouting statements about your loyalty to GMA on TV,

please fix the &$@#+(!# kilometers of sh*tty dirt roads in Candaba!!!

CONFUSED BISHOPS Conference of the Philippines

CBCP to GMA:

"take the lead in combatting corruption;
no need to resign, Ma'am!"




Allow me now to invoke Heaven and Hell
to express my surprise and dismay at
the eunuchness, errr... uniqueness
of your oxymoronic statement.

JESUS CHRIST!!!

WHAT THE HELL?!?!



It's like asking:

The proverbial fox to guard the chicken house!
Adolf Hitler to please clean the gas tanks in Auschwitz!
Imelda Marcos to make an audit of her shoe collection!
Bill Clinton to interview interns during Spring Break!


I swear,
Alanis Morissette can turn the CBCP statement into a hit song.



And speaking of IRONIC,

I really wish this gentleman,
whose very name is irony itself,

was still around to knock some logical sense
into the minds of his fellow holy men...

"I have to say, I'M CHUFFED..."

chuffed :
British slang for "very happy; extremely satisfied; quite proud"

Colin Farrell,
who proudly introduced the performance of
ONCE stars Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova,

must have been bloody chuffed
after the pair went on to win the
Academy Award for Best Original Song.

Even more so when,
in a rare break from OSCAR tradition,

host Jon Stewart called Marketa back on stage
for her speech after she was inadvertently played off the stage
by an over-enthusiastic orchestra.

Definitely the highlight of this year's Oscar Awards!!!

now, this is a CLASSIC!!!

Kudos and Thanks to the archivists over at
ALPHA RECORDS
for unearthing these classics, and to the executives for
allowing a new generation of Pinoy comedy fans to enjoy
the ageless antics of
DOLPHY and PANCHITO.


The CD is now available nationwide,
and you can listen to samples over at Jimmy Jam's site!

Pitch Perfect PINAY

No grating Regine Velasquez-style "BIRIT"s,
No cloying Sarah Geronimo TWEETUMS affectations,


just a pure, crystal-clear voice,
with perfect enunciation and control,
a sheer pleasure to listen to, again and again.


RAMIELE's the best Pinay to ever sing on American Idol;
to everyone in the U.S. reading this, Iboto si Malubay!!!

BRUHA Brouhaha!!!

Neri and Salceda
have just come out of the proverbial closet...
GMA's Cabinet!!!

EVIL.

BITCH.

If that's what two of her most loyal supporters call her,
imagine what kind of unprintables the average Pinoy uses...

from ABS-CBN News :

Adviser calls Arroyo 'luckiest b*tch'

It was may have been a joke but it made its mark nonetheless,
especially now that President Arroyo
is being besieged by ouster calls
amid allegations of corruption in her administration.

On Wednesday,
one of the President's economic advisers
referred to her as the "luckiest b*tch around"
during a forum attended by businessmen and business leaders.

"Alam naman nating lahat at alam naman ni Presidente
na masuwerte siya.
She may be a b*tch but she’s the luckiest b*tch around,”
said Albay Gov. Joey Salceda.

The off-tangent remark,
which Salceda acknowledged as a joke,
was made as he discussed economic growth issues
at the Ateneo Center for Economic Research and Development.

The governor’s "joke" made everyone laugh --
including himself --
after noticing that a television news crew was covering the event.

"Naku may TV nga pala," said Salceda.


Salceda also commented about the "evil" tag
that Commission on Higher Education (CHED) Chairman
Romulo Neri allegedly made against Mrs. Arroyo.

"Baka nasabi ni Neri, she is civil," he said.

JUN LOZADA is UNITING the UAAP!!!

It was wonderful to see Fr. Manoling Francisco, SJ
(composer of Hindi Kita Malilimutan)
celebrating Holy Mass at La Salle Greenhills
this past Sunday,

and the following day,
Bro. Armin of La Salle
was at the front row at the Church of the Gesu in Ateneo
for the 6pm mass offered for Jun Lozada and his family.

Yesterday,
UST proudly proclaimed its support
for the nations's favorite everyman.


I'm loving the fact that my three Alma Maters
are working together for OUR one and only PILIPINAS.


ANIMO LA SALLE!
ANIMO ATENEO!!
ANIMO UST!!!

MADAPA KA rin sana!!!

This morning's too-obvious, too sycophantic
"SOLIDARITY WALK"
at Malacanang:

*photo from www.inquirer.net*

For some not-so-subtle reason,
this lovely morning stroll of GMA with her Cabinet
reminded me of this old joke:


Isang araw,
naglalakad si Boy Bastos sa New York City.

Mamaya-maya,
dahil nalula sa taas ng mga gusali,
may nabangga siyang isang African-American,
at nagalit sa kanya ito...

African-American:
Hey, man! Watch it!
You MOTHER F*CKER!


Boy Bastos:
Aba, gago 'to ah...
MADAPA KA rin sana!

The Return of RUBIK'S

Sidewalk Scene,
Morayta, Manila

33 years after it was invented in Hungary by Ernő Rubik,
27 years after it first took the Philippines by storm,

the CUBE is back to frustrate a new generation of Pinoys!






Here's how I solved the Rubik's Cube:

heS hOh heS...

or if you're not a cabalen like me,
simply say ,

S.O.S.!!!

S.O.S.
stands for "Sh*t On a Shingle",
a standard combat meal of the U.S. Military.

It's a very simple but extremely delicious meal
of chipped lean beef cooked in a creamy white sauce,
slathered on a toasted slice of wheat bread;

G.I.s had this meal so often,
they invented that unappetizing nickname for it;

well, the toast does look like a roof shingle,
and the creamed beef, well, it does look like...


But this is the best tasting sh*t I've ever had!

One spoonful,
and I can almost imagine myself starring
as a brave young soldier during the Vietnam War,
just like Charlie Sheen in Oliver Stone's PLATOON.




As far as I know,
there are only three restaurants that serve
this American dish here in the Philippines,

all of them can be found in Angeles City,
and the best version is available at VFW,
just outside the Friendship Gate of Clark.

(thanks to Awesome Anton for the pics!)

The VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) Canteen
is a favorite restaurant of my relatives from
San Fernando and Angeles,

and has now become a regular stopover
of the Ultimate Pampanga Food Tours!


I guarantee that you'll fight for your right to eat the S.O.S.
as well as the other authentic American fare
served with military precision by the friendly folks
led by Manager Ding and his fine serving staff.

Make it a point to visit VFW
the next time you're in the Clark area,
or if you're on your way up to Baguio.

THAT'S AN ORDER, Soldier!!!

SEINFELD at the SENATE

In a moment of pure Seinfeld-ian absurdity
at the marathon Senate hearing last Monday,

Atty. Antonio Bautista
seemed to channel KRAMER from the TV show~

Cosmo Kramer was a true character,
with unruly hair sticking out
from all over his head,
and prone to muttering oddball non-sequiturs;



Atty. Bautista actually complained under oath
that because of the Jun Lozada brouhaha,

he was missing out on watching SEINFELD!!!

I'm positive that it's the first time
in our history that Jerry's last name
was typed out into an official Senate transcript.




Things got even stranger when Jun Lozada
started narrating about how a certain "GEORGE",
kept on speaking to him menacingly over the phone;

GEORGE COSTANZA,
for the non-Seinfeld fans out there,
was a character who was The Biggest Liar in the show;
he was short, fat, and bald.


"George",
as it turned out in the Senate investigation,
apparently was Senior Superintendent Paul Mascariñas,

a cop who many people feel disgracefully lied the most
among all the witnesses present last Monday...

and yup, he looks exactly like GEORGE!!!






Of course,
we can't complete the Seinfeld analogy
without the erstwhile lovers in the classic series,
JERRY and ELAINE...





and as Seinfeld himself famously proclaimed,
his TV show was:

"ALL ABOUT NOTHING!!!"



And that's exactly what these two probably think
about Jun Lozada, ZTE, and the Senate Investigations!

The MYSTERY of T.MORATO...

SOLVED!!!



... and just like that,
it's the beginning of the end for
PEPSI MAX!!!

SLEUTH: the anti-Tuesdays with Morrie!!!

Michael Caine
as a sophisticated millionaire author

in a battle of wits with

Jude Law
as a brash young playboy

as they fight over the love (or ownership?)
of the author's wife, now the playboy's lover.

Just these two fine actors appear in the whole film,
each commanding your attention from the get go,

in a sleek, bloody good British thriller
directed by, who else?

Kenneth Branagh!

p.s.
this continues the Michael Caine-Jude Law remake connection;
Jude Law previously played the title role in the ALFIE remake,
which was originally Michael Caine's starmaking role.

in the original SLEUTH,
Michael Caine played the playboy now played by Jude Law;
and the author was played by another great, Laurence Olivier!


(Olivier was considered to be his generation's greatest Shakespearean actor;
this generation's most acclaimed Shakespeare actor/director is..... Branagh!)

FINALLY : Definitely Worth the Wait of TWENTY YEARS!!!

MTV PILIPINAS
is now negotiating for:

MADONNA

in July

and

U2

in October

both at The Fort or Mall of Asia grounds




other MTV Pilipinas concerts:

Usher : November/The Fort or MoA
Justin Timberlake : October/The Fort or MoA
Josh Grobhan : July/Araneta
Michael Buble' : June/Araneta
Dave Matthews Band : May/venue to be determined
Bob's son Damian Marley : April/Sofitel (former Philippine Plaza)
Matchbox 20 : April 27/Araneta
Duran Duran : April 11/venue to be determined
Harry Connick Jr. : March 15/PICC Plenary Hall
Incubus : March 9/Araneta

The ANTI-STRESS Manifesto

Click on the picture to De-Stress:

Thanks to Lulu Lemon via Toni for the link!

Dear Mayor LITO,

To my fellow Thomasian,
and yes, my fellow Atenean,

once upon a time,
I wished that you could be Manila's Mayor-for-Life;

I voted for you in all the elections
where you ran for Vice Mayor and eventually, Mayor.

I appreciated your beautification of our city,
the current deconstruction of your successor notwithstanding.

I felt, and still do,
that by your passion for improving our city,
you gave Manileños back their pride.



However,
by the the time your last term began in 2004,
for some strange reason, it seemed that you decided
to emulate another former Manila Mayor, Ramon Bagatsing,

a man who once was very popular with First Lady Imelda,
because he insisted on holding up an umbrella over her
magnificent bouffant every time she would go around Manila.

And Mr. Mayor,
although you never went around with an umbrella,
(ella ella eh eh eh)

you took it upon yourself to shield Gloria,
not from the rays of the sun,
but from the heat of the Opposition.

I guess I'll never find out exactly why
you decided to act like UV protection for the Administration,
but now, you're the Secretary of the DENR.



And now,
has your unswerving loyalty to the President
come down to this?

Jun Lozada's expose' has implicated you as the
alleged mastermind of what certainly looks like,
if not an attempted kidnapping,
then an absurdly amateurish abduction.



The irony of this tragedy is earth-shakingly Shakespearean.

You entered my consciousness as an Opposition candidate
in the 1984 Batasang Pambansa elections,
bravely taking on Marcos and his machinery,
patriotically espousing the values of Ninoy Aquino.

How could you allow yourself then,
twenty four and a half years hence,
to be involved in the most notorious act
in that very same airport since August 21, 1983?

The fact that it was Noynoy Aquino who represented the Senate,
and was actually there at the NAIA to meet Jun Lozada
last Tuesday, adds an even more ironic exclamation point
to this whole sordid saga of your total reversal in my eyes.



I firmly believe that the reason why Gloria is still around
is simply because there has been no CATALYST,
either an event or a person, to move the middle class.

Martial Law effectively ended
with the assassination of Ninoy,

and Clarissa Ocampo and Perfecto Yasay's testimonies
practically drove Erap out of the Plunder Palace.

I don't think our country can survive another People Power,
but I believe that we can easily live through
two years of a Noli de Castro presidency until 2010,
if somehow, Macapagal-Arroyo can be forced to resign.

Jun Lozada may just be that catalyst.




You can still be a hero, Mayor Lito.

I hope that somewhere deep inside you,
the embers of the principles of Ninoy Aquino,
the same burning ideals that once made you shine,
still somehow, faintly glow.

Reveal what really happened with Jun Lozada.




That's my impossible dream.

Where is the L O V E?

Sorry, my beloved KK,
I'm not going to ...

For the first time since Krispy Kreme
opened its sugar-coated doors to the Pinoy public,
I'm disappointed with their Special Seasonal Donuts.



I was addicted to the Hershey's Donuts,
celebrated the Christmas Candy Cane Donuts,
and even fought for the UAAP Donuts,

even the La Salle variety which I notoriously
St. John Baptised as ampalaya-flavored.



However, this year's Valentine's Donuts
leave me feeling, well, a bit bland.

The Dulce de Leche has a gorgeous pink blush,
the White Chocolate Mint has dramatic scarlet accents,

but both are surprisingly disapponting,
much like a beautiful girl who seems very sweet,
but who ultimately bores you because she lacks that special flava.

This Government is making me BLUE...and GREEN with envy

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH OUR GOVERNMENT
HAS BEEN SUMMARIZED IN THIS FRONTPAGE FROM
THE PHILIPPINE STAR:

1. The First Gentleman,
implicated in practically every anomalous contract
entered into by his wife's administration.


2. The Great Moro-Moro:
GMA ordering Raul Gonzales and the Department of (in)Justice
to probe the culprits?

hahahaha!

Are they planning to stick a thermometer up
the corpulent butt of Mike Arroyo?


3. Our Philippine National Police
in a permanent state of denial in an alternate reality.


4. Greed, NOT Truth, has prevailed.


5. Too many ATENEANs in GMA's Government.

Brand New House Speaker Prospero Nograles
of Ateneo Law's controversial Aquila Legis fraternity
hugging Ateneo High School's Congressman Mikey Arroyo
in Malacanang two days after the De Venecia coup de grâce.

Thank God for
LA SALLE!!!

"On many occassions, the Brothers have opened their doors
to those in need of shelter or care,
regardless of religious beliefs or political affiliations.

We believe this practice takes on special meaning today,
as we give sanctuary and protection to the Lozada children
who are members of the La Sallian community."

Bro. Felipe Belleza, FSC

ANIMO LA SALLE!!!


My other Alma Mater is once again stuck on the hill
and refuses to come down;

it has been eerily, embarassingly quiet
about all the shenanigans of Macapagal-Arroyo et al.
for the past few years.

Nakakahiya, Ateneo!

Whatever happened to "Man for Others"?
Ano ba ito, "Man for Malacanang?!??!"




What the F*ck?!?!??!

The ATENEO used to produce
Jose Rizals, Ninoy Aquinos and Edgar Jopsons.


Now,
we let the cowardly NERI
and the pater et fils ARROYO,
not to mention the former Economics professor at the Ateneo,
GMA herself, to represent Loyola's ideals
and run roughshod over our rights as Pinoys.

And the ATENEO community continues to keep quiet.

No one in the Ateneo Administration nor the Ateneo Alumni
has come out officially into the open
to even mildly castigate our government.

Is it because, a few short years ago,
shortly after her accidental proclamation as President,
in a speech at her alma mater on March 15, 2001,
GMA effusively declared:


"MANY OF THE THINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PRACTICE NOW
AS PRESIDENT,
AS VICE PRESIDENT,
AS SENATOR,
WERE THINGS REALLY THAT I LEARNED
FROM THE ATENEO ECONOMICS DEPARTMENT...



MY SONS WERE ALSO THERE FROM PREP....

SO, I THANK YOU FOR TEACHING NOT ONLY ME BUT ALSO
MY HUSBAND AND MY CHILDREN...



I HAD ONE CLASSMATE WHO DID NOT BECOME AN ECONOMIST
BUT HE IS NOW THE CHIEF OF STAFF OF THE
ARMED FORCES OF THE PHILIPPINES ANGIE REYES...



SO, I THANK ATENEO FOR TEACHING ME ECONOMICS
BUT I THANK YOU TOO FOR CONTINUING TO HELP ME WITH MY GOVERNANCE
BECAUSE OF THE WISE COUNSEL THAT YOU CONTINUE TO GIVE
AND BECAUSE YOU HELP ME TO PREPARE FOR THIS ROLE."

http://www.opnet.ops.gov.ph/speech-2001mar15.htm

LET'S WAKE UP THE BLUE EAGLES!!!
they have been snoozing too soundly since 2001...

one wonders:
why the deafening silence from Katipunan?

the cause may be hopeless;
but still,
those tilting at windmills are way more impressive
than those idly sitting back, scratching their balls blue.

(for reference, click on to:
http://spanx.multiply.com/journal/item/11/The_Blue_Eggless)




Thank God,
The LA SALLIANS' arrows
are flying straight and true
and finding their mark.

LA SALLE
is the school that's really Flying High.

KULITI, KULITAN!!!

My Top 5 Reactions
Upon Seeing What My Left Eye
Looked Like Early This Morning:

1. Damn that dibidi marathon,
I now look like the COFFEE PRINCE.



2. TURNING JAPANESE I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
tanananatnanatnat!!!



3. PORN. Just... too much porn.



4. My GARFIELD eye is giving me a deep longing for some Lasagna.



5. I can play "TWO-FACE" in the next Batman movie!!!

Don't Let The SUN Go Down On Me

"I will not let you down."
That's what Shaq reportedly told Steve Nash.

4-time NBA Champion Shaquille O'Neal,
now slowed and hobbled by injuries
but still an immovable object in the paint,

makes the BIG move from
the worst team in the East to
the best team in the West...


the question remains, however:
"Will the SUNs SLOWly SINK in the West"?

30 Kilos of ARUGULA...

...that's how much of these leaves
are consumed by Chef Chris Locher's
diners at his C' Italian Dining restaurant
right outside the former Clark Air Base.

These salad & pesto staples
have a unique, almost nutty taste,

a perfect complement to the rich cheese
and tangy tomatoes so often found in Italy.


One of the best ways to enjoy these gorgeous greens
is with C's PANIZZA, a super-thin-crust cross
betweena a pizza and a panini,

and the way to eat it is quite unique as well;
you get the strips of panizza,
and roll up an arugula leaf in it.

Think ITALIAN SUSHI:


Believe me,
this dish, washed down with C's signature Italian Sodas,
is worth the trip to Clark via the traffic-free NLEX.

C' is one of the Best Restaurants in the Philippines, period.
And the prices won't burn a hole through your wallet either.

For a closer look at the menu,
visit C' Italian Dining's official website!